Even
After all this time,
The sun never says to the earth,
"You owe Me."
Look at what happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky."
From Daniel Ladinsky, The Gift: Poems by Hafiz
The “tyranny of expectations” may “plague your daily life, causing you to be irritable, disappointed, and disillusioned”.
Our attachment to expectations sometimes surprises and assaults us. Like a physical attack, we are left unsettled and hurt. Letting go of attachment takes so much work that we often resist this instruction because it puts us face-to-face with ourselves. It takes away the shining ideal, the greener side, and plants us back where we were.
Now what?
“If only” dominates our thoughts. If your expectations are not met, then you feel deflated, disheartened, and sometimes betrayed. We often perceive these occasions as times of loss. They are not times of loss, however. You have lost nothing, but an excuse. Now you must be responsible for yourself. Grasping at these “solutions” feels like the only way to find peace. Yet, it is the empty pursuit of this imaginary cure that truly brings anxiety. You are no different than you would have been had the expectations been fulfilled to your desire. You are the same, but now you don’t have that distraction.
The joy you imagined in connection with your expectations was a crutch. Now that it is gone you are frightened and suffering. How much better would it be to be able to walk on your own? Now is your time to pick yourself up. You no longer have to be afraid; you did this. No one carried you. No one supported you. That means that this perceived loss wasn’t real. You never really needed the crutch; you just told yourself that you did.
You can emerge from Maya, the waking dream. Much like Plato’s allegory of the cave, Maya represents the collection of illusions that we all cling to in our lives. The shadows dancing on the back of the cave are not tangible. They are reflections of the real objects. Turn around and cast your eyes upon the objects that are producing those shadows. Free yourself from this darkness. Step out into the sun.
Growth is painful, but denying it is pain deferred. Like surgery when needed prevents an injury from worsening, liberating ourselves from our attachments and expectations prevents the devastation from over-reliance and self-doubt when we finally “lose” that support.
This is the path to freedom outlined in Buddhism’s Four Noble Truths.
Be strong.
Crawl.
Walk.
Sprint.
Feel the warmth of the sun as it lights up the earth.
Chakra study:
The chakras represent various energy sources. When one is blocked then we suffer from the restrictions and compensations related to that particular energy. The chakra associated with grasping and attachment is the Sacral Chakra, the Svadhisthana in Sanskrit.
The seat of your emotions, the Svadhisthana chakra is located just below the tailbone. When your it is overactive then you are prone to codependency and overreactions. If it is closed, then you might notice depression or a dulled creativity. Finding balance is key. When you recenter, you may find that you have greater confidence, more emotional harmony, and enhanced creativity.
Poses to help with your Svadhisthana include:
Repeat the mantra “VAM”, carrying it through your exhale.
If you feel impelled to act, as yourself to what aim. Will your action solve a problem or simply offer short relief? Sit with yourself; take your time; learn to just be. Let the illusions come crashing down around you.
And breathe.
After all this time,
The sun never says to the earth,
"You owe Me."
Look at what happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky."
From Daniel Ladinsky, The Gift: Poems by Hafiz
The “tyranny of expectations” may “plague your daily life, causing you to be irritable, disappointed, and disillusioned”.
Our attachment to expectations sometimes surprises and assaults us. Like a physical attack, we are left unsettled and hurt. Letting go of attachment takes so much work that we often resist this instruction because it puts us face-to-face with ourselves. It takes away the shining ideal, the greener side, and plants us back where we were.
Now what?
“If only” dominates our thoughts. If your expectations are not met, then you feel deflated, disheartened, and sometimes betrayed. We often perceive these occasions as times of loss. They are not times of loss, however. You have lost nothing, but an excuse. Now you must be responsible for yourself. Grasping at these “solutions” feels like the only way to find peace. Yet, it is the empty pursuit of this imaginary cure that truly brings anxiety. You are no different than you would have been had the expectations been fulfilled to your desire. You are the same, but now you don’t have that distraction.
The joy you imagined in connection with your expectations was a crutch. Now that it is gone you are frightened and suffering. How much better would it be to be able to walk on your own? Now is your time to pick yourself up. You no longer have to be afraid; you did this. No one carried you. No one supported you. That means that this perceived loss wasn’t real. You never really needed the crutch; you just told yourself that you did.
You can emerge from Maya, the waking dream. Much like Plato’s allegory of the cave, Maya represents the collection of illusions that we all cling to in our lives. The shadows dancing on the back of the cave are not tangible. They are reflections of the real objects. Turn around and cast your eyes upon the objects that are producing those shadows. Free yourself from this darkness. Step out into the sun.
Growth is painful, but denying it is pain deferred. Like surgery when needed prevents an injury from worsening, liberating ourselves from our attachments and expectations prevents the devastation from over-reliance and self-doubt when we finally “lose” that support.
This is the path to freedom outlined in Buddhism’s Four Noble Truths.
Be strong.
Crawl.
Walk.
Sprint.
Feel the warmth of the sun as it lights up the earth.
Chakra study:
The chakras represent various energy sources. When one is blocked then we suffer from the restrictions and compensations related to that particular energy. The chakra associated with grasping and attachment is the Sacral Chakra, the Svadhisthana in Sanskrit.
The seat of your emotions, the Svadhisthana chakra is located just below the tailbone. When your it is overactive then you are prone to codependency and overreactions. If it is closed, then you might notice depression or a dulled creativity. Finding balance is key. When you recenter, you may find that you have greater confidence, more emotional harmony, and enhanced creativity.
Poses to help with your Svadhisthana include:
- Goddess
- Butterfly/Baddha Konasana
- Wide Legged Forward Fold
Repeat the mantra “VAM”, carrying it through your exhale.
If you feel impelled to act, as yourself to what aim. Will your action solve a problem or simply offer short relief? Sit with yourself; take your time; learn to just be. Let the illusions come crashing down around you.
And breathe.
Hillary Jasper Rose
Yoga Instructor and Community Outreach Coordinator at Maya Whole Health. Her philosophical focus while pursuing her Yoga teacher training at Nepal Yoga Academy was on the effects and treatments of chakras.
This blog was started to engage more deeply with our Maya Community. If you would like to make contribute then please contact Hillary:
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